I Still Think of Her Occasionally
by TheMrLucario
Summary: [One Shot] It's difficult working with someone who no longer cares about you.


I Still Think of Her Occasionally

Nick Wilde is a normal fox, living an average life as a cop, with his greater than life partner Judy Hopps. She gives him more credit than he actually deserves, Nick won't deny this. She says him deciding to turn his life around after formally being a con man deserves much more recognition, but Nick was content with just knowing she actually believed in him. They live happy, quick paced lives as cops, and neither would ever want that aspect of their lives to change… is what Nick would have said 5 months ago.

Thing is, his life as a cop, and his life with Judy Hopps, are much different than what they were when he first started on the force. Days on patrol consisted of early mornings going to get coffee with each other and arriving at the ZPD with enough time to have make small talk with Clawhouser at the front desk. Now, Nick woke up just 30 minutes before duty called him, and walked by himself down the quiet streets of Zootopia, still waking up from its slumber. Days on patrol with his partner were lively; they were full of snarky remarks and light hearted banter. Now they just sit in their patrol car in silence. Only talking when the job called for it.

Days after their work life consisted of quality time shared between Nick and Judy. They would continue their banter in Nick or Judy's apartment, winding down after a very long day. Now, Nick walks alone on the same streets they would walk together, reminiscing about how much fun their daily banter was. He wandered the streets of Zootopia, thinking about how foolish he was 5 months ago. How he took those days for granted, and was regretting his decisions now. Nick wandered the streets of Zootopia, looking for the only mammal he could trust at this point.

It's strange really, how things can turn out to be. One day you're ignoring the entire universe, giving your undivided attention to this one rabbit, then the next you're best of friends with a wolf. Nick was looking for officer Wolford, Kevin as he liked to be called when he wasn't on duty.

Their relationship had grown a lot in the past few months. With Judy not talking much to Nick, he had decided to just stay mute the entire time, hoping that Judy would notice his silence eventually. Except, instead of Judy noticing, Wolford noticed first, and took the initiative to approach Nick. It started little behaviors like greeting him in the morning as he walked into the precinct alone, or when he would sit with him at lunch. One weekend, Nick was invited by Wolford to play his wingman at a club, and they hit off really well since then. Nick found himself enjoying the wolf's company after a while. They both had quick tongues and sharp minds, and found themselves constantly fighting these small verbal wars (which Nick is proud to say he won the majority of them). Eventually, without either of them saying anything, they'd turn into the best of friends.

Nick arrived at Wolford's apartment, buzzing him to let him in.

"The hell you want Wilde?" Kevin spoke lightheartedly from the speaker.

"Shut it Wolford, I needed to talk to someone, and you don't have a life so I'm here."

"Don't you have you rabbit girlfriend to go talk to?" he replied, voice a bit more hesitant.

"Dammit Wolford, not right now, this is serious."

" _ooooookay_ , give me a sec."

… _BZZZZT_

The security door unlocked, letting Nick inside. Wolford's apartment complex was located on the edge of Zootopia City center, beginning to approach Tundratown. It wasn't rundown really, it had a ventilation and heating system, so he got heating whenever the cold season hit his area (a side effect to living close to where the ecosystems change.) However, the building was still old and the paint was pealing from the outside. Nick walked up a couple flights of creeky old of steps to find Wolford waiting for him at the door to his apartment.

"Boy, do you look like shit Wilde, what happened?" Kevin asked.

"Heh heh, shut it pup" Nick smiled at that remark, but it was clear he was lost in thought.

He wasn't entirely wrong; Nick hadn't gotten a good night's rest in days. He was having nightmares that tormented him to no end, and he thought it would help if he spoke to someone about them. He tried telling it to Judy, in hopes that it would spark conversation between them, but the entire time he as talking to her, she seemed uninterested in what he was saying.

"Come in, might as well if you've come all the way here to see your favorite Wolf."

Usually Nick would respond to this sort of remark with a crippling comeback, but he had too much on his mind to actually come up with one.

"Uh huh, yea sure" Was what he finally blurted out, still lost in thought.

Kevin closed the door as Nick entered his small apartment. Nick sat by kitchen table while Kevin sifted through his fridge.

"…Beer time?" Kevin asked, holding a can towards Nick.

"No Kevin, not right now."

Kevin frowned. "It's never beer time with you Nick." Kevin said, grabbing Nick a bottle of water. He set the bottle down in front of Nick, and went to the chair opposite of Nick. He started looking at Nick.

 _Definitely nightmares_ He thought to himself, noticing the bags around Nick's eyes. _But from what I hear, you've a lot more to worry about than a couple of bad dreams._

Kevin noticed Nick beginning to give him a look, so he decided to break the silence.

"So… What's the matter Wilde? You seem… off." Kevin asked.

"It's …Judy." Nick replied.

 _Oh man_ Kevin thought to himself _does he know…_

He decided not to finish that thought and continued the conversation.

"Well obviously it's Judy-"

Kevin braced himself, for he was officially entering uncharted territory between Nick and him.

"-You're obviously in love with her, and these last few months have been hell for you."

Nick was silent, looking down at the bottle. During the last few months, they almost never spoke about Judy Hopps, or anything related to her. Wolford understood Nick's sensitivity towards the subject, and decided not to make his suffering any worse than it already was. However, it seemed that now would be the appropriate time to bring her up.

"Kevin, tomorrow is her birthday," Nick said, voice heavy letting out a small sigh, "and I've been having these horrible dreams about her. She's all alone standing in a white dress surrounded by a bunch of candles."

Kevin nodded, not entirely sure what he was trying to get at.

"And whenever I try to get close to her, she just keeps getting farther and farther and farther and…

Nick swallowed before continuing, maintaining composure

"…until the darkness swallows her whole and I can't see her anymore."

Yet another long silence. This time Kevin was looking uneasily at his beer can.

"… I think this is my last chance Kevin. If I can't make her notice me tomorrow, I think I'll have to accept the job offer and move away from from here."

"Hmm, yea I guess that's what it comes to- wait WHAT?" Kevin yelled, almost choking on his beer.

"What job, Nick?! You never told me _that_ detail."

"Kevin I got a job offer from a small precinct in a quiet town. They said they noticed my record with crime, and were quite interested to have someone like me on their team. Said I would be a useful asset."

Kevin was still recovering from his first remark, but now he was speaking Nick was speaking in tongues.

"Wilde, stop it. Don't let this girl be the end of your career here at City Center. Besides, imagine how frugal you'd have to live going to… where was it you said you were going?"

"Sunny Hills out at the border of The Rainforest District, Tundratown, and the Meadowlands."

Kevin froze, he had only ever heard of Sunny Hills from one of his friend who had worked for a company that was fairly successful. Sunny Hills was THE destination for all people rich and privileged. They were a society of their own, all sorts of celebrities and politicians lived there.

"B-But Nick, those living accommodations are super expensive! How the hell would you ever afford that? Especially if what you've got is a couple of years of working on the force, and I know how much I get paid. It's not a lot. Just enough to get you by, how-"

"The job would pay well and they would accommodate me in a living space for free."

"… you're kidding me right? You're _actually_ considering ditching all of us here for some rich kids needing a personal bodyguard?'

"Kevin, we both know that's not-"

"NICK, listen to yourself. Think about it for a minute. I'm not trying to be rude or anything, but your background, and the people who live there, they don't exactly mix well together. They're living their ignorant lives without knowing about the struggle. Nick, you have been through that struggle, how would you ever… ever…"

It dawned upon Kevin, as he went on rambling on. He looked over towards Nick, who's eyes were closed and paws rubbing his temples. It made sense.

"Nick… are you… considering this… in order to… punish… yourself?"

Nick had quite enough of this conversation, and finally spoke up.

" _Listen_ Wolford" Nick said, voice beginning to sound like a low growl. Nick realized this and decided to collect himself before continuing on. He looked right into his friend's eyes.

"I need you to do a huge favor for me. Can you drive me to Hopp's place tomorrow?"

"…"

Kevin was silent, Nick never used his last name outside of work unless he as serious.

"… _please."_ Nick said, sounding almost desperate at this point.

"… Wilde you'd better not abandon what you have here just because you're upset how things turned out with Hopps. But as your friend Nick, I'll do it. Just know I don't completely agree with what you're doing here."

"… Thank you Kevin." Nick said, getting up. He walked over the exit of the apartment.

Kevin got up and walked Nick to the door. He gave Nick a small smile, hoping it could maybe make him reconsider, but Nick's emotionless expression said otherwise.

"…I'll see you tomorrow Nick." Kevin said, ears drooping as he closed the doors.

As Kevin closed the door, he went to his living room couch, where he sat down and stared at his ceiling.

"I need to tell him…"

...

Wolford was already in his car by the time Nick had arrived. He checked the time, it was 5pm, just as Nick said he'd arrived. Kevin wanted to grill Nick real good right now, he had ditched work without telling him. He was about to start his rant, when he noticed that Nick was holding a small box in his paw. Nick even looked more polished than he usually was, wearing a pair of grey slacks as well as a white long sleeve shirt.

 _Is this idiot is actually going to…_

 _"_ Relax," Nick said as he opened the passenger car door, "It's not a ring. I'm not an idiot Kevin."

"Nick… you don't have to do this you know. You can just ask chief for a reassignment, I'll put in a good word for you as well! I'll tell him Snarlov needs someone to put him in his place, that way we could be partners."

… No answer. Kevin let out a small sigh as he started up the engine.

Nick remained silent as Kevin got onto the road, driving towards the address Nick had sent him though text the night before. It was a silent drive to say; Nick was totally focused on the box that he held in his paw, and Kevin was focused on the road, praying that some miracle would make Nick reconsider everything. They arrived in front of Judy's apartment complex shortly.

"Hey Nick, I just wanted to say that… whatever happens I'm here for you, but there's something that needs to be said. It's about Hopps…you probably don't know this but…"

Kevin didn't get to finish his line, as Nick cut in with his signature smirk on his face.

"Aww, does my canine buddy here actually have a heart?"

"Ah, fuck off Wilde. Go then, get your girl." Wolford exclaimed, looking away from Nick.

And so Nick did, stepping out of the car, enter the Grand Pangolin Arms. Nick never understood why she never she never moved out of this old, dusty apartment. There was nothing charming or appealing about it. The walls were tacky, and peeling in some places. It constantly smelled like there was something dying inside of the apartment, and the the insulation for the building was basically negligible. Nick liked how the lights didn't hurt his sensitive eyes too much, but if it's working for a nocturnal animal such as himself, then it's definitely an issue for regular mammals.

Nick arrived at Judy's door. He never realized how small he felt until he was standing in front of the door with his hand extending out towards the door to knock.

Except the door opened by itself, meaning that Judy forgot to lock it before she left or entered (which wouldn't make sense, Judy is very systematic about the little things like that), or…

Nick didn't hesitate anymore, fearing that something might be up. He swung Judy's door wide open, revealing a scene which cut many gashes into Nick's heart.

Judy was in bed… exchanging tender kisses… with another rabbit.

When Judy had noticed that there was someone else at the doorway, she immediately got out of bed, looking at who had barged in.

"N-Nick! What are you… why are you… OH uh… uh…" Judy expression was aghast.

The other buck got off of her bed and stared at Nick. It wasn't a hostile glance, as a matter of fact, he was looking at Nick with more pity than hostility if anything. He spoke.

"Judy is that…"

It clicked, Nick needed to get out before he lost his composure.

"Judy, is that you? Oh I'm SO sorry I disturbed you both. I was just dropping off this nice little gift for your birthday, but I noticed your door was open so I assumed that my dumb bunny of a partner was in trouble. My bad Fluff."

Nick gave them a toothy grin, but his eyes seemed to be betraying him, as they were beginning to become glossy.

"Well then, I'll just leave this here, and I'll bid you both, adieu. Bye now!"

Nick turned around, not wanting to show his face to either of them. He walked quickly down the hallway, down the stairs, and back outside to where Wolford was waiting for him. He could hear Judy calling out for him from behind, but he paid no attention to her pleas.

Nick entered the car.

"Wolford, go. Now."

"But I think I see Hopps coming-"

"JUST GO DAMMIT!"

Kevin hit the acceleration and sped off, shooting a worried glance towards Nick before focusing on the road.

There was a long, unsettling silence between the two of them as they pulled up at Nick's apartment.

"Nick… I'm so sorry. I had heard the rumors, and I should have said something… but I didn't want to hurt you."

Nick remained silent for a minute, but then spoke.

"Wolford, I guess I should probably tell you this, seeing as that nobody else will actually ever know, but I had known about these rumors long before the precinct found out."

Wolford looked at Nick, giving him a wide eyed expression.

"Kevin, do you know why Judy and I just seemingly stopped interacting all of a sudden? It's because I was an idiot. A stupid, stupid idiot fox that thought that the love of his life would wait for him to be ' _ready'_ Nick spoke, the last word rolling of bitterly.

"Nick… what do you mean? You're telling me that you willingly subjected yourself to this type of emotional torture knowing..? Knowing that there wasn't any chance in HELL that it would work out?"

Nick chuckled. They made eye contact. Kevin could see Nick's cool expression, but his eyes were forlorn and distant.

"I knew there was a 99% chance of that rumor being true Kevin. I took the 1%, and here I am now. Everything that's happening to me is what I deserve for being a selfish, ignorant fool. Nothing more, nothing less."

"Yea but-"

"Do you know what I said to her Wolford? On that day, 5 months ago, while we were eating dinner together? She asked me if I would ever would consider beginning a new chapter in our lives together, as lovers. She put herself on the spot, bare, just for me, anticipating my response, only to have her be rejected by the one mammal whom she cared for most at the time."

Wolford could see Nick's eye's gloss up, but the cool expression refused to fall.

"I told her I wasn't ready for that, and that I probably would never be ready, Kevin. I had my heart broken before by a Vixen who followed where the money went, and after that I thought I'd never love again. When love did show up, I was blinded by my own fear of having _my_ heart broken again. But then she showed up into my life, and made me believe these false proclamations of self-worth and change. I played her like an instrument, tuned her to my liking, and then abandoned her without bothering to play it even once.

Nick took out his phone, and looked forward once again. Wolford wanted to speak, but was once again interrupted by Nick speaking on the phone.

"Hey Janet, it's Nick. Nick Wilde… Yea, I think I'd like to take you guys up on your offer…Yes, I've had enough time to think darling, don't worry… When's the earliest I can settle in..? Tomorrow afternoon? That's perfect… don't worry about the paperwork sweet cakes, I already talked to my boss, he should be transferring my files right now… The ticket was sent electronically? That's fine. Thank you Janet, can't wait to see you again, bye now!"

Nick let out a heavy sigh.

"Nick, please tell me that isn't what I think it is...?"

"… I'm sorry Kevin. I really do appreciate everything you've done for me these past 5 months, but I think this is for the best."

"Wait, Nick!"

But he didn't respond. All he received was a text 5 minutes later with a picture of a ticket and text reading: "This wouldn't suck as much if you were there to see me off."

* * *

The Day After

Judy was feeling a lot of things right now. Anger, confusion, grief, angst, but most of all, desperation. She had been told by chief that Nick had resigned not only as her partner, but from the precinct. Then, she had received the text from Officer Wolford saying that Nick was taking a train to Sunny Hills.

"That idiot" she huffed, as she ran past many different mammals walking about Zootopia's streets. Judy stopped at a corner, realizing that the walk sigh wasn't on. She took out her phone and read the text again from Wolford.

 _Nick is leaving forever. Zootopia Train Station, platform 15. 12:44PM. It's your last chance._

Judy could feel the rage building up inside her. Why was it _her_ last chance. Why was he _leaving?_

"I know the answer to that one." Judy said, remembering the broken look on the fox's face when he had walked in on her and Matthew. She looked at the clock on her phone. It read 12:40PM.

She continued her sprint once the walk sigh started to blink. The train station was in view. She can't be too late. She _can't_ be.

As she arrived, she looked at a map of the station, checking her location and platforms. She groaned. Of course platform 15 had to be the one already boarding, and was on the other side of the station. Judy was breathing heavily, but continued her sprint across the station, dodging the mammals that were in her way, ignoring their annoyed shouts at her.

"I can't be too late, I can't, _I can't!"_ Judy was sounding more desperate now. She made it to the platform, wanting to barge into the train, but was met by a hefty Bear usher who gave her a frown.

"Ticket?" he said.

"Just let me talk to someone in there _please"_

"Ma'am do you have a ticket"

"NO, LET ME IN!"

"Ma'am I'm sorry but I'm going to have to escort you out of the train" He replied, grabbing her by both her arms and dragging her out, throwing her to the floor as he closed the door. The train's whistle blew as if began moving.

Judy began to tear up as she saw the train exit the station. She was beginning to gain suspicious glances from a few of the mammals around her, but she returned their looks with a glare.

He was gone. Nick was gone. The idiot ditched her, because he was upset it wasn't him.

Judy got up, and found Officer Wolford staring at her, holding something in his paws.

"You couldn't even see him off." He said, giving her an uninterested gaze.

"Wolford, how'd you know? Why didn't you tell me? How did _you_ of all mammals know?"

Wolford was looking out towards the train in the distance. He didn't bother answering her.

"He asked me to give you this. He'd do it himself, but you never made it on time."

Wolford revealed a carrot pen, placing it in Judy's paws. Judy examined it. It was the pen Nick had never given back to her after their first encounter all those years ago. She looked up wanting to say something to Wolford, but he wasn't there. Judy could see a couple of mammals exiting the platform, but the seemingly bustling station was now empty. Judy looked at the carrot pen once more. She didn't have to press the play button, but something inside of her insisted that she should. She pressed the button.

…Why was she so nervous as she heard the sound of Her and Nick giggling?

" _Alright fluff, you know you can't live without me."_

 _"_ _Nick stop it! We both know how I feel about you."_

 _"_ _Oh? Please, enlighten this poor, clueless fox then."_

 _"_ _Well… just because you asked… come here you dumb fox"_

Judy dropped to the floor, letting the carrot pen hit the ground with her. Her paws covered her face as the now broken recorder played out the scene over and over again.

She'd never felt so alone.

* * *

Author's Note:

I had a moment of inspiration, so I grabbed it by the horns and never let it go. If you made it this far thank you for the time! It's highly appreciated!


End file.
